Thursday, February 26, 2009

Respect Yourself, Protect Yourself.

Since it will most likely take some time to get the ball rolling on e-mails, I plan to occasionally post some general information rather than only respond to questions.

So, I'd like to start with how to engage in safer sex. Hopefully, most people reading this had sex education before the insanity that is "abstinence only" became a rip-off of federal funds by ugly ass Republicans. I am so glad hideous people are willing to risk the lives of youth in the name of their own conclusions reached by years of terrible sex. (That's the only reason I can imagine anyone buying into conservative views about sexuality. However, that's a different rant for a different post.)

So we're gonna make this condom 201. A little more advanced than the basics.

The double condom myth.
Two condoms does not equal twice the protection from sexually transmitted infections (STI). It does not quadruple your defenses. In fact, it lowers the effectiveness of latex condoms.

Why is that? Basically, friction. Latex when pressed against latex, causes quite a large amount of pushing/pulling/clinging. All of the pulling and heat causes a dramatic increase in the chance the condoms will cause both to tear.

So what should you do?
Ask about your partner's sexual post and current HIV status. Even if it's a fling. Do this
before you're naked and sweaty. It makes for an awkward conversation when your mouth is full of pussy, dick, or ass. So if you meet a hot boy or girl in a bar, ask them about their sexual past if you think you might wrestle naked. Buy them a shot as a thank you if they are willing to discuss it open and easily. Hey, the booze will only make you look hotter to him/her anyways. If they don't want to discuss it--you're still at the bar with plenty of other hotties to hit on.

Then when it is time for the hookup, use one condom, effectively. Be sure there is no bubble in the tip of the condom.
It can be fun and sexy to put the condom on your partner. If you plan to be the receiver, open the condom (carefully, without using your mouth to prevent puncturing the condom accidentally). Once you have it open, test which way it rolls over the tip of your finger. This can prevent the potentially awkward wrestling to roll the condom the wrong way and needing to correct it.

You might still fuck this up. If you feel embarrassed, fuck it. You're already naked. If you're comfortable enough to be naked with someone, you really shouldn't feel flustered for making such a common mistake. You may want to
gently pinch the base of the penis, behind the scrotum as you roll the condom down. Guys, you may want to do to the same or rub your cock before putting the condom on to facilitate the blood flow before covering it.

Now, before having intercourse, remember the importance of lube. Some womyn have more than enough natural lubricant, but it's always better to err on the side of using lube when not needed than to skip it when it is required. If you plan to have anal penetrative intercourse, use lots of lube! Although the anus has a lot of blood and flexibility--again, for safety and comfort--err on the side of too much.

Water based lubed might get "gummy" or "tacky" after a few minutes. You may want to consider silicone lube. This lube is very slick and really needs soap and water to be removed fully from skin. It lasts longer and never gets that sticky feeling water based lube does. Two notes of caution about silicone lubricant. First, it stains sheets. You may want to invest in cheap or old sheets specifically for play time if you enjoy this lube. Washing may or may not successfully clean the stained spots, so spilling it on 500 thread count organic, fair-trade, Egyptian cotton might cause you to turn emo. If you're having fun on a patio or in the bathroom, this stuff can be extremely slippery on tile floors and similar surfaces. Also, it may cause minor rashes in some individuals, especially when used in long sexual sessions (meaning several hours long.) The rash is painless and will normally go away in a few days. Don't freak out and assume it's an STI if this is your first experience with silicone. See your doctor if the region is sensitive, painful, or fails to go away after a day or two.

Oil based lube is excellent for masturbation and or sex toys, however,
it should never be used with latex condoms. Also, do not use silicone lubricant on silicone sex toys. The chemicals in both the toy and the lube will break each other down chemically. The end result will be a buttplug that looks like bad senior art show sculptures of Quasimodo. If only they taught this in Science class, I may have gotten honor roll the year I was stuck in chemistry.

That's all for now. I will expand more on this in my next post. Until next time...
Play hard and remember the safeword.


  1. Good to know. What about dental dams? How are they best used?

  2. I will do an entry on this, hopefully as part 2 of the condom 201 post. :)